Leonardo DiCaprio
Does anyone remember the 90s and Leo Mania? All the girls with the "I Love Leo" books and magazines and other stuff that was really a waste of space? I remember because I thought and still think he's good-looking too. That little feminine elf-like person caused a lot of problems for girls in their childhood.
What's really funny is, back then, it seemed like nobody ever saw him as a legitimate actor. The poor guy had won an Academy Award and Golden Globe for What's Eating Gilbert Grape long before his hotness went super nova in the eyes of tweenage girls everywhere. He couldn't have won that for good looks because most girls, while attracted to woobies, are so attracted to boy with mental developmental issues. Then Romeo + Juliet and Titanic came along, he won more awards, but that really didn't count because Leo-Mania was in full swing and everyone wanted the little ball of cute, feminine hotness to just GO AWAY and make the girls STOP making those high-pitched-squeally-noises.
The guy had a problem, you see. After every tweenaged girl in America only goes to see your movie because you're hot (hmm... someone else seems to have this problem now, Robert Pattinson); no one will take you seriously, for some reason.
I know people who still avoid his movies because "all I can think about when I see his face is stupid Titanic).
Personally, my problem came from Men in the Iron Mask because... all those fine actors acting horribly in an Alexandre Dumas-based film that has been destroyed by the makers. I'm serious. I can't decide if the movie was trying to get tweens to fail history and literature at the same time or if the filmmakers had ever even read the Vicomte of Bragelonne at all. I, being someone who was genuinely obsessed with The Three Musketeers towards the end of high school, who convinced her grandmother to buy her the other two books in the trilogy/tetrology, rather dislike the movie. Leonardo DiCaprio's worst crime of cinema was making it. John Malkovich, Jeremy Irons, Gabriel Byrne, Gerard Depardieu, and bloody Hugh Laurie all committed the same crime and in the eyes of me, the Musketeers buff, they should be hanged, drawn, and quarters as well as half the popular male acting population because all of them have been in Musketeer films probably at one point or another and none of them live up to the awesomeness that is that book. That's right, Tim Curry, is guilty too. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Then, in 2002, something magical happened. It was called Gangs of New York. It was extremely long, like Titanic. It was semi-historically-based, like Titanic. It was made by a big name director (Martin Scorsese), like Titanic (James Cameron). It also won a shitload of awards, like... well, you get it by now. This, along with Catch Me If You Can which came out in the came year (and had a lot of the same details with Spielberg as the director) was a turning point in his career. He wasn't just a teen heartthrob... he was a serious actor.
Which... anybody who knew his history knew that it was probably going to happen so long as he found people willing to work with him, which he did. In fact, Martin Scorsese must have taken a real shine to the boy (hopefully not in that way) and keeps putting Leonadro DiCaprio in his movies.
The great part is I don't mind, I like seeing a legitimate actor... do they're thing properly. (I'm still mad at you, Gerard Depardieu! And Hugh Laurie! And.... blaargh!)
Actually, Irons and Malkovich own the American viewing public a lot. Not only did they help create Man in the Iron Mask, they helped make Eragon. Leonardo DiCaprio made tweenagers scream. Bad, but not terrible. He was in a bad movie that pushes one of my serious buttons, worse. Malkovich and Irons were in two terrible movies that both push my buttons. They should publicly apologize and then help participate in the making of a masterpiece.
Leonardo DiCaprio took something that can end in a lot of badness, being a teenaged actor with a horde of tweenaged groupies who, through their well-intentioned ogling, could have destroyed his career, and he turned it around (with help) and became a pretty good actor who doesn't seem to be into drugs or anything that can end in tragedy around the world.
This year, a movie's going to be released with Leonardo DiCaprio. It's The Great Gatsby. That's right! Another book adaption where I've read the book and loved it. Shutter Island doesn't count because I hadn't read the book and still haven't read the book. The director of the movie directed Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge!, and Australia. That means... we may be in for something I won't like. If it's better than the 1974 movie or at least as good, I'll recover and not come out of the theater foaming at the mouth. If it falls below even those low standards... or becomes a musical, I'll scream.
Who's screaming with me as we come full-circle (ish)?
What's really funny is, back then, it seemed like nobody ever saw him as a legitimate actor. The poor guy had won an Academy Award and Golden Globe for What's Eating Gilbert Grape long before his hotness went super nova in the eyes of tweenage girls everywhere. He couldn't have won that for good looks because most girls, while attracted to woobies, are so attracted to boy with mental developmental issues. Then Romeo + Juliet and Titanic came along, he won more awards, but that really didn't count because Leo-Mania was in full swing and everyone wanted the little ball of cute, feminine hotness to just GO AWAY and make the girls STOP making those high-pitched-squeally-noises.
The guy had a problem, you see. After every tweenaged girl in America only goes to see your movie because you're hot (hmm... someone else seems to have this problem now, Robert Pattinson); no one will take you seriously, for some reason.
I know people who still avoid his movies because "all I can think about when I see his face is stupid Titanic).
Personally, my problem came from Men in the Iron Mask because... all those fine actors acting horribly in an Alexandre Dumas-based film that has been destroyed by the makers. I'm serious. I can't decide if the movie was trying to get tweens to fail history and literature at the same time or if the filmmakers had ever even read the Vicomte of Bragelonne at all. I, being someone who was genuinely obsessed with The Three Musketeers towards the end of high school, who convinced her grandmother to buy her the other two books in the trilogy/tetrology, rather dislike the movie. Leonardo DiCaprio's worst crime of cinema was making it. John Malkovich, Jeremy Irons, Gabriel Byrne, Gerard Depardieu, and bloody Hugh Laurie all committed the same crime and in the eyes of me, the Musketeers buff, they should be hanged, drawn, and quarters as well as half the popular male acting population because all of them have been in Musketeer films probably at one point or another and none of them live up to the awesomeness that is that book. That's right, Tim Curry, is guilty too. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Then, in 2002, something magical happened. It was called Gangs of New York. It was extremely long, like Titanic. It was semi-historically-based, like Titanic. It was made by a big name director (Martin Scorsese), like Titanic (James Cameron). It also won a shitload of awards, like... well, you get it by now. This, along with Catch Me If You Can which came out in the came year (and had a lot of the same details with Spielberg as the director) was a turning point in his career. He wasn't just a teen heartthrob... he was a serious actor.
Which... anybody who knew his history knew that it was probably going to happen so long as he found people willing to work with him, which he did. In fact, Martin Scorsese must have taken a real shine to the boy (hopefully not in that way) and keeps putting Leonadro DiCaprio in his movies.
The great part is I don't mind, I like seeing a legitimate actor... do they're thing properly. (I'm still mad at you, Gerard Depardieu! And Hugh Laurie! And.... blaargh!)
Actually, Irons and Malkovich own the American viewing public a lot. Not only did they help create Man in the Iron Mask, they helped make Eragon. Leonardo DiCaprio made tweenagers scream. Bad, but not terrible. He was in a bad movie that pushes one of my serious buttons, worse. Malkovich and Irons were in two terrible movies that both push my buttons. They should publicly apologize and then help participate in the making of a masterpiece.
Leonardo DiCaprio took something that can end in a lot of badness, being a teenaged actor with a horde of tweenaged groupies who, through their well-intentioned ogling, could have destroyed his career, and he turned it around (with help) and became a pretty good actor who doesn't seem to be into drugs or anything that can end in tragedy around the world.
This year, a movie's going to be released with Leonardo DiCaprio. It's The Great Gatsby. That's right! Another book adaption where I've read the book and loved it. Shutter Island doesn't count because I hadn't read the book and still haven't read the book. The director of the movie directed Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge!, and Australia. That means... we may be in for something I won't like. If it's better than the 1974 movie or at least as good, I'll recover and not come out of the theater foaming at the mouth. If it falls below even those low standards... or becomes a musical, I'll scream.
Who's screaming with me as we come full-circle (ish)?
Comments
Post a Comment
Have something to say about this post? Write it here!