Doctor Who: The Romans

Oh Crap! A Lyre! And fire! It's Nero!

The Romans is the twelfth serial of Doctor Who or the fourth serial of the Second Season. It originally broadcast in four weekly parts from January 16 to February 6, 1965. Without looking at Wikipedia, just the image on the DVD cover, I could tell it was going to be a Nero-centered episode.

If Nero lights the Great Fire of Rome, I'll be very upset. I just want you to know that. He only gets bad press because the historians of the time didn't like him, but if you look at his policies, he did a lot for his people and a lot to try to stimulate his government's economy and build infrastructure in the city of Rome itself. It's not his fault his mother was completely crazy and he probably came from slightly inbred stock!

Though a fire must feature heavily because Donna and the Tenth Doctor talk about it in the New Series episode, The Fires of Pompeii. Apparently, the fire had a little bit to do with the Doctor. I hope he lit it while smoking his pipe. That'd be really funny!

Two Hours Later...

Imagine me expecting some new view on Nero and the Roman times and instead I get... a comedy somewhat mocking the whole thing with a little bit of slavery thrown in for drama!  This is another historical episode with no aliens whatsoever... besides the Doctor. Also, this is an serial where the Doctor and Vicki separate from Ian and Barbara for most of the episode only to come together at the very end.

When we start off, the TARDIS has landed on a mountain ledge and promptly fallen off, landing on its side. We cut to about four weeks later with the TARDIS crew living in the house of some Roman official who is away. You never see him. They just pretend to be house-sitting for this person and keep on going. Ian and Barbara are enjoying the rest, but the Doctor and Vicki are getting rather restless.

So, the Doctor and Vicki decide to go to Rome and poke around. Ian and Barbara offer to come along, but they accidentally infer that the Doctor needs them to look after him. He goes grumpy old man on them and leaves with Vicki. The pair find a dead body on the side of the road with a lyre, which the Doctor picks up while investigating. It turns out the man is a famous musician going to Rome to perform in Nero's court. Now that the Doctor has the lyre, they think he is the famous musician. The two arrive in Rome with some trouble from the same assassins that killed the musician. Nero is friendly to the Doctor's face, but tries to compete with him in the musical arena at every chance. This would be good, but the Doctor can't play the lyre.

Eventually, the Doctor gives a concert and claims that only those with the most sensitive ears can discern the beauty of his music. Then he pretends to pluck the strings making no sound to great applause (like in The Emperor's New Clothes), causing Nero to become extremely jealous. Once Nero decides to throw the Doctor to the lions (by having him give a concert at the Coliseum), the Doctor decides it's time to leave. After giving Nero the idea to burn Rome, he and Vicki leave town in the dead of night and return to the house where Ian and Barbara were left just as Nero has people set fire to Rome.

Meanwhile, in the beginning of the first episode, Vicki and Barbara were spotted in the market by two slave traders who decide to attack the four at the house and take them as slaves. After Vicki and the Doctor leave, they attack and take Ian and Barbara prisoner. Ian is sold to a ship which wrecks and then he's captured as an escaped slave and sent to compete in the arena as a gladiator.

Barbara is sold in Rome to Nero's household as a handmaiden to Nero's wife. Nero immediately takes a shine to Barbara and chases her around and constantly tries to win Barbara's affections. This leads Nero's wife to become extremely jealous so she tries multiple ways to get rid of Barbara including poisoning and dismissal. Eventually, Nero takes Barbara with him to the Coliseum to arrange the Doctor's (who's under and alias) downfall and show her a gladiator fight. 

Ian and a friend of his are the fighters and they fight their way out the arena. Nero decides to use Barbara as bait at the castle and posts guards all around. Then, Nero summons a bunch of people to set fire to Rome, and Ian and his friend sneak in with the fire starters. The man in charge of Nero's household (who has been trying to help the Doctor kill Nero without the Doctor's knowledge) helps Ian and Barbara sneak out. The last shot of this man reveals him to be a Christian. 

Ian and Barbara make it home before the Doctor and Vicki who believe that the two have spent all that time lounging about in the house and not off having and adventure of their own. 

Once again, I find myself liking Vicki. She doesn't get captured or injured. In fact, at one point she nearly poisons Nero by saving Barbara's life. See, Nero's wife intended to poison Barbara (Vicki just knew it was a slave girl) and went to the court poisoner. Vicki had been spending time with the court poisoner and was hiding under the table when Nero's wife came in. Vicki was so appalled, she switched the cups because she didn't think the poor slave deserved to die like that. She then tells the Doctor while laughing. So the Doctor has to save Nero's life.

It's little things like that that made me enjoy this episode as well as the ridiculous lengths they went through to make it so Ian and Barbara never encounter Vicki and the Doctor while in Rome. It's a nice little episode and I would recommend people watching it even if they made Nero even sillier and had the Great Fire of Rome be his fault. It has it's own charm.

Next episode is The Web Planet. I hope there aren't and spider!