Finishing

I have a problem.

I can't seem to finish anything I start.

Look at Hold the Tainted Tacos. Seriously. Go check it out. See how it ends... abruptly? I couldn't figure out how to go about the next bit... so I stopped. And I just stayed stopped.

Now I'm doing it again and I'm aware of it too.

I don't want to finish all the Magical Realism stuff I promised myself I was going to read and watch and immerse myself in. I really... don't. Part of it is that there's so many books to read and blah, blah, blah... I'll never get through it all. Whine, whine whine...

Groan. Moan. Groan. Moan.

I'm so terrible I watched Twilight for Universe's sakes! I have two books to finish in four days and I'd rather watch Twilight.

Because.... well, I suck mostly.

Also, choosing to do something and sticking to it is hard.  My brain is always coming up with writing ideas. I usually judge the strength of a writing idea if I choose to come back to it later because I do give things up so easy.

I'm actually surprised that I am still posting to this blog, to tell the truth.

I just... well there's no simple explanation. Yes, sticking to things is hard. Especially when I have all these thoughts in my head and ideas and things I could be doing. I mean, would you rather read House of Spirits by Isabel Allende or watch a cheesy vampire romance story and laugh at it's stupidity?  I should note to you that so far, House of Spirits has talked about the death of a girl with green hair by poisoning intended for her father and how her fiance handled it by being an asshole to his sister and fixing up a farm. Yeah, the green-haired girl was apparently a mermaid, but it's just... BORING.

And Story Sisters wasn't boring. Neither was One Hundred Years of Solitude... in parts.

So, I'm drudging through a boring story, decided to take a break and laugh at all the stupid people, and I'm trying to work on some fictional writing too. I've got some characters for a Magical Realism story I'm planning to write halfway mapped out. I have an idea for a fantasy world-saving epic that extols the virtues of self-sacrifice and whether or not the world is worth a person sacrificing their lives or part of what makes life bearable to save the world that I've sort of started working on, but I think I'm going to set it aside for a bit because I'm not sure how to start writing it. It's only in initial idea stage which means I have the idea for the plot and maybe some of the characters, but not much else. When I return to it, I'll probably approach the story from a different angle. When I was in Germany, I started to rework a vampire story by using a notebook to map out all the characters. I kind of want to rework it again from the point of view from the vampire character and then extend it to the characters that are already mapped out in great detail and maybe edit some of the idea for more vampires. Everything is better with more vampires.

Look at Twilight and The Vampire Chronicles. With Twilight, the first book (and movie), focued on friendly-neighbodhood-vampire family versus evil vampire family with most of the time zeroed-in on one vampire and his shallow human girlfriend. Boring. Second Movie: All about the girlfriend but the minute the Volturi were introduced I was like, "What the hell? Why weren't these guys the central figures first?" They were fun. And seeing Druitt with hair will leave me cackling for days. I'm serious.

Now let's look at The Vampire Chronicles. First book: Louis, Lestat, Claudia, and (eventually) the French coven of vampires. It was interesting. Second book: Lestat and everyone he'd ever interacted with. Awesome! Queen of the Damned: vampires from all over the world, the beginning of vampirisim, how humans react to vampires and the supernatural with librarians (sort of). My head exploded from the sheer awesomeness of that book. I really want to reread just that one. Because... wow... So many cool characters all with their own motivations and beliefs in what's right and what's wrong and why are they so evil. Are they so evil? Is Lestat doing the right thing or is he a dumbass? Will Lestat do the right thing? The rest of the series is a bit of a let-down after that. Memnoch the Devil tried pretty hard. I liked it, but it wasn't Queen of the Damned. Though, imagine being an eighth grader in a Catholic school and trying to read a book with that title. I'm lucky my teacher didn't care.

So, I'm doing... stuff. And, I'll eventually finish that list. I really want to finish that list. I even managed to get a book by Kafka from the library. Well... a translation of Kafka. I was so proud of myself because I couldn't find him at my local library. I thought I'd have to go to Dayton... instead I sort of got it by going to Covington. Kentucky.

There's a story there that you won't hear.

So, I'm working. I'm writing. I'm not doing what I should be doing... according to what I've promised on this blog, but I'm working towards becoming a better writer and working on stories so I think I'm doing pretty damn well.

And Cyn, I'll get around to Hold the Tainted Tacos eventually. Even if you have to superglue my wrists to my laptop.